Oh hiyaaaaa it’s me, that girl that used to write non-stop on the internet and now struggles to get a post out a week. Hashtag guilty.

I’m not gonna blabber on about it being a turbulent time because if you’re anyone that’s remotely noticed the absence of my posts, then you’ll know all about what I’ve been up to the past couple of months. Blah blah blah.

But here I am, I’m back. Hopefully gonna get this going on the regular again because y’know, I love chatting away about the ins & outs of my life and bumping into random people and them knowing everything about me. Lols.

Okay so point of this post? Partly to apologise for completely boo-hooing Ascot last year. Soz babes, you ain’t all that bad.

Some of you may remember this post from last year where I spoke about the absolutely so hideous it was funny experience at Ascot. Yup, maybe go back and refresh your memory. I was traumatised for months.

I vowed (quite strongly) that I would never, ever, ever, ever go back because do you know what’s not fun? Being surrounded by hoards of drunk ladies in knee length dresses, stumbling about sinking in the mud in their high heels. There I go again, slagging it off. I need to erase last years memory and replace with this year. DONE.

This year was glorious. Like a really proper glorious day.

And the only reason I agreed to go again was because it was for a pals birthday and I couldn’t really say no. Here’s the things that made it very, very different from last year:


1.DON’T BE A TIGHT ARSE – GET GOOD TICKETS. This probably made the most difference to the year before. As I stated in my older post, the grass really is greener on the other side and it’s only £20 more to be on that luscious lawn – bargain mate. There was cover, there was plenty of seating and there were really snazzy bars. I mean, we struggled to find anywhere that served prosecco it was that nice (‘ey up, 5 glasses of prosecco please’ ‘we only serve champagne here…’)


2. LEAVE PLENTY OF TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE A SILLY JOURNEY. I know I banged on about this before, but this time we zoomed to Ascot. Blink and you could have missed the journey. I barely had time to drink my mini bottles of prosecco because before we knew it, we were there being chucked off the bus right at the entrance. (That’s another thing – I couldn’t understand how last year we were about 10 fields away from the arena. I needed a lay down by the time I got there. HOW DID IT GO SO WRONG? Must let it go, I know.)




3.DON’T DRINK YOURSELF INTO OBLIVION ON THE MINIBUS JOURNEY THERE. REMEMBER, YOU ARE A CLASSY BIRD. I mean the shorter journey did help. But this year, I downsized from large bottles of prosecco (waaaaheyyy) to small bottles. I didn’t even drink my emergency G&T tinnies. I’m making myself sound like a raging alcoholic. Promise I’m not, pinky promise. But yeah there was a lot more decorum this year.

Ascot is a freakin’ long day. Ascot is all about pace. Ascot is all about drinking so you’re just in that happy, fuzzy phase where everything is LOL and there’s no tears or tantrums or major drama, and then maintaining that throughout the day. It’s as much of a sport as the racing, I tell you. Peak too early and you are gonna stumble before that finish line. And no one wants that in a Coast dress.


4.GO WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE EACHOTHER. AND PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY HAVE AN INTEREST IN THE RACES. I mean it seems obvious now doesn’t it? But seriously, I went with a lovely group of pals last year but I don’t think any of them were remotely that bothered about spending the day together as a group. And that was a real shame. Plus, not one of us knew how the whole betting thing worked, and that kinda made the day moot. There was no interest in the races, we could have been stumbling about in our local park in nice dresses and heels – not much different to what we were doing.

This year, I went with the WAGS. Y’know, wives & girlfriends. An ace group of ladies who are all laid back as llamas, absolutely gorgeous and just as obsessed with pizza & prosecco as me. Winning combo. We actually watched the races (some of them anyway) and some of us actually did win money. Not me, I hasten to add. I pick losers apparently.

Choose who you spend your Ascot experience with wisely. This is make or break.


5. FOOD & WINE FESTIVAL? YES PLEASE. I can highly recommend with cherries on top going on the weekend of the Food & Wine Festival. In between watching races and drinking bubbles we were able to eat all the food (and all the free samples, obvs). Pizza, cheese balls, brownies, macarons – I had it all.

And yep, you read that right. Balls of dough filled with cheese. Where you been hiding all my life, hun?

Good friends, good food, good drink & the potential to win some money. Great combo.






Ascot, I hope you accept my sincere apology for slandering you last year. You are, in fact, a rather nicely organised event if you do it the right way.

Happy Monday everyone. Glad to be back.