My twitter biog reads:
‘Rose Bruford Graduate. Events Coordinator. UK Lifestyle & Fashion Blogger’
I guess these are the things I felt defined me, at the time of writing. Other people put ‘cat lover’ and ‘digestive biscuit eater’ and that’s fine, if that’s what you’re into. But these three things, in some way or another, sum up who I am and give anyone that stumbles across my account a vague idea of what this lady does.
And this is why today I felt that I must, just must, take the first one out. Because although I will always be a Rose Bruford Graduate, it’s been three whole years since I left that special place. It’s been three whole years since I decided (whether I knew it back then or not) to turn my back on the Theatre world. So I’m guessing it’s not really so relevant anymore.
I think the phrase ‘turn my back’ is perhaps a little harsh. Erase that.
I graduated on a Friday and I started in my bright new events role that following Monday. I felt pretty accomplished. Like I’d defied all that negativity about graduates not finding jobs blah blah blah. And I convinced myself and everyone else that it was just a stopgap until I did something theatre related. Six months passed and I felt like I’d closed a door on something that I’d dreamed about doing and changing and revolutionising for as long as I could remember.
I guess this is why I gave up before I even started:
I couldn’t stand the thought of being unemployed. It made me feel a bit sad.
I couldn’t stand the thought of telling people at parties that I was an ‘actress’ or a ‘director’ and people cooing and thinking it was super novel and asking if I wanted to be in EastEnders. FYI no I don’t, didn’t, never will.
I certainly couldn’t stand the thought of telling anyone that I was a ‘theatre maker’ because that would cause all sorts of confusion and ensuing explanation and furrowed brows.
I didn’t wanna be poor. Yes, I guess I’m slightly materialistic, I hold my hands up; you got me. I didn’t wanna struggle in any way, shape or form.
And I guess what it really comes down to, if I’m honest, is that I couldn’t stand the thought of failing.
Which is kinda ironic in the LOL kinda way, as that was what we were meant to be learning at Rose Bruford in the first place ‘It’s okay to fail…’ God I miss that place and all it’s jogging bottom wearing days.
I look at my fellow classmates who’ve gone out into the theatre and arts world, giving it welly, doing incredz stuff and triumphing in so many ways big and small. The breadth of my ex-classmates success makes me swell with pride. They’re travelling Europe with shows, modelling in New York, starring in Nickelodeon films, releasing music videos and running their own theatre companies.
I think they’re incredibly brave in these trying times with the arts being cut left, right & centre. With the price of living rising. With the cost of a fredo at £25p. I admire them for it.
Now let’s be clear; this is not a woe me post. It’s a reflective post. And no, I don’t regret a single thing about the path I’ve chosen to take.
I just never imagined I’d be doing what I’m doing and enjoying it so flippin’ much. I never imagined I’d be planning open top bus tours, Pokemon Lure Parties and free film screenings and giant days out at theme parks, temporary beaches galore. I could have never guessed I’d be blogging, and actually making a success of it. I could never have guessed that I’d own my own property so soon.
So I guess the result of this reflective post is that you never know where you’re going to end up. You never know what things will lead to. Life has a funny way of working out just so.
And who knows, perhaps I’ll find my way back into the realms of theatre one day. Another three years and I could be doing anything; writing an award winning play/ working for a theatre company as their marketing queen/ social media rambling for an arts venue.
Watch out world, I’m coming for ya.
(You can read about all the wonderful things Bruford did for me here).
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